Mr. Jonathan McNair: “Courtesy, Etiquette, and Manners”
These posts summarize the forums that our Living Education-Charlotte students attend each week.
In a recent forum, the director of Living Education, Mr. Jonathan McNair, spoke about courtesy, etiquette, and manners. He discussed our modern-world approach to them and provided definitions for the terms. He then gave some examples of how and why we ought to demonstrate these things in our lives.
“Not in Style?”
Mr. McNair began with Genesis 18:1-5, where Abraham “Lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing by him; and when he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them” (NKJV Gen. 18.1-3). From there, the Bible details him bowing low to the ground and offering both water for washing and a piece of bread for food.
Such manners, Mr. McNair pointed out, though once customary, are no longer regarded as necessary. Today, they are viewed as “out of style.” Mr. McNair gave three reasons: comfort, ego, and convenience. People desire to do what they want, when they want to, and in whatever way they wish. God reminds us, however, that we must “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (NKJV Phil 2:3). This includes not showing partiality toward specific people. As James 2:2-3 declares, “For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes … have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?” Instead, we are to show manners, courtesy, and etiquette to everyone, regardless of status or background.
“But What are Manners? Is There a Difference Between Manners, Courtesy and Etiquette?”
Courtesy, like manners, involves polite behavior. Etiquette, meanwhile, includes the practices and forms established by social convention or authority, meant to be observed in social life. The three terms are closely linked, yet they call for different comportments depending on the situation. Mr. McNair addressed some of those occasions in a couple of short videos he played for students, detailing how men and women should conduct themselves.
“Speech, Meals, and Gatherings”
The first occasion Mr. McNair talked about, relating to speech, was how to greet people. When we meet someone for the first time, we should: give a firm handshake, look the other in the eye, smile, and share our name. Then, we should ask the other person about themself. How is their day going? What do they enjoy? Such actions show that we care about the other person and evoke confidence.
Regarding meals, we should adhere to higher standards of table manners, such as not reaching over the table for food or using a fork like a shovel. These, Mr. McNair pointed out, will elevate how we are perceived by any prominent guests we may have, reinforcing higher standards and showing respect.
“Raising the Bar”
Truly, showing courtesy and manners, like those described above, is important. They not only demonstrate thoughtfulness and effort, but also help us, as Mr. McNair highlighted, “Achieve good, positive excellence in our life.” If we desire to raise our level of expression, let us take the time to polish our speech, research proper etiquette, and practice it actively.
Author: Mary Wissinger | Living Education