Mr. Michael Brown: Four Steps to Social Courage

Author: David Markopoulos | Living Education

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These posts summarize the forums that our Living Education-Charlotte students attend each week.

Mr. Michael Brown is a pastor serving in Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Western Ontario, and in a recent forum addressed to the students of the Living Education-Charlotte program, he delivered helpful advice on social interactions and developing confidence.

Commanded to Be Courageous

Joshua 1:9 says: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” God encourages us to be courageous in the face of adversity. Sometimes, those difficulties come in social settings. In Proverbs 29:25, we read: “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” 

We all often face fear of men. We have a natural fear of judgment for the things we say or do. That fear prevents us from being courageous and speaking the truth—we’re worried about what people may say or think. 

Mr. Brown reminded the students that it’s important to remain courageous, and offered four keys to overcoming that fear—through the acronym of FEAR.

F — Framing

The first step to overcoming social fear is learning to frame narratives. In conversation, people often frame a narrative. We need to be able to recognize how someone else might be framing their side of the conversation and what they’re trying to say or build up to. It also means being intentional about how we frame what we say so that it is well-received and accurate. 

Sometimes people might challenge you or present a logical fallacy that is intended to trick you. In order to avoid affirming a false premise in an argument, be aware of conversational framing and what the person is trying to say. You can politely express your disagreement, ask for permission politely to disagree, and set boundaries for the discussion—when a conversation becomes uncivil, you have made it acceptable to politely exit the interaction because the other person has violated an agreed-upon rule.

E — Emotions

To be strong and of good courage, it’s important to rule over our emotions. Our worst decisions come when we’re feeling extremely emotional. Those different emotions can lead us to making snap decisions that ultimately have adverse consequences.

When interacting with someone, or listening or watching something, remember that what they’re saying may not necessarily be true. Some media are designed to attack your emotions—ask yourself if you should be reacting in this way. Furthermore, always remember to ask God to help you control your emotions.

A — Authority

There is often an authority figure in a social setting—even if the authority figure is not present in the conversation, the dynamic may still affect our interactions. We need to have a humble and accurate view of ourselves and how we may fit into a particular dynamic. How we view ourselves in relation to others, and how much authority we may or may not have to use, affects how we conduct ourselves.

This requires a healthy balance. If we have a measure of influence or authority, we should use it positively and not at the expense of other people. Conversely, while we should remain humble and teachable when we are not given as much authority as someone else, we should also not be dejected—our interactions and social confidence benefit from maintaining  confidence and assertiveness. We have the ability and the room to assert ourselves, even if we’re uncomfortable with it, and as we do this, it will become easier.

R — Righteousness

Proverbs 28:1 says: “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” Everyone wants to be bold and confident—no one wants to be insecure. Mr. Brown reminded the students that in order to not be insecure, you have to live righteously. 

In your interactions, if your intentions are honorable, pure, and righteous, it dispels that fear of judgment from our minds. We should pray to God to help us develop pure motives and to help us be a light to others. This changes the entire reason we assert ourselves or even interact at all—if it’s done out of a sense of wanting to preserve the relationship with the other person’s best interest at heart, it removes that insecurity from our hearts. If our motives are based in righteousness, we don’t truly have anything to be insecure about—we can hold our heads high and have confidence.

Do the Hard Thing 

Mr. Brown encouraged the students to do the hard thing. Applying these principles can cause some discomfort in social interactions—but the important thing to remember is that as you practice them more frequently, they will become habits that come far more naturally. Keep practicing, keep trying, keep doing.

When our motives are rooted in an outgoing, selfless sense of righteousness, we are naturally eliminating any room to be insecure. Keeping this in mind helps us qualify our relationships and interactions in a godly context, and gives us the confidence needed to keep practicing and improving in social settings.

David Markopoulos is a Living Education alumnus from the 2023-2025 school years. Originally hailing from Chicago, he currently works for the Living Education program.